Kids do it, animals do it, and yes we adults do it… throw temper tantrums. They all look different, come in various forms or degrees, the problem is as adults we “should not” be throwing temper tantrums. I don’t know about you but sometimes it might be nice to lay on the floor kick your arms and legs to let it out all. The problem is we can’t lay on the floor and throw one but we sure can do it in other ways, like blow up in a fight, give the silent treatment, refuse to help out of spite, or jump down the rabbit hole of everything sucks are all forms of “adult temper tantrums” just to name a few. We may not be laying on the floor kicking and screaming or stomping our feet but our “adult temper tantrums” are equally as ineffective. I have never had a great outcome from blowing up or refusing to talk, let alone the silent treatment. All it really does is make me feel guilty after for not being able to control my emotions or reactions. Now I have to approach the situation with my tail tucked between my legs because truthfully I acted like a child.
I heard a woman recently say “ I am having a hard time being the adult version of myself” and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It actually provides some freedom, in the moments we throw temper tantrums. Instead of adding another layer of guilt or shame, it is an acknowledgment that right now, my inner child is acting out (we all have it). Yet, I am still in charge of myself and can go back to behaving like an adult. As compared to “act like an adult” or “grow up” it is acknowledging that sometimes I am trying my best and it’s just a lot. I get overwhelmed or stressed and the behavior or reaction came out not as my best self and knowing next time I can do better. Instead of beating yourself up for the temper tantrum, try acknowledging the younger version of you, instead of punishing yourself as you would to a child.
GROW FROM IT. LEARN FROM IT, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.
Stop punishing yourself. I find myself time and time again beating myself up for my mistakes as compared to going, ok well that happened, how can I respond better, what is the true outcome I want? I have found this is key to growth, to my emotional health, and to my self-worth. Slowing down enough to think then move forward. Time and time again the reaction puts me in the rabbit hole, the depression kicks in, and the next thing I know I suck at life. This never helps, I promise. This also takes some grit, to dig in enough to notice how are your reactions shaping your life? It is truly very little we are in charge of, but the ones we are capable of are the big ones. YOUR reaction to a situation, and YOUR own thoughts.